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Jun. 19th, 2009 @ 05:42 pm BSG: Poisoned Mind

Title: BSG: Poisoned Mind
Author:
[info]lobselvith8
Characters: Sharon Valerii, Hera Agathon
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: 4.20 “Daybreak Part 2”
Summary: Sharon Valerii or Number Eight 
Gracias to [info]grey_sw
  for the beta read! 

 

 

 

 

 

Sharon Valerii had become a war hero once again. Cavil had greeted her when she arrived at the Colony, knowing she would complete the mission he entrusted her with. No doubt had crossed his face, and the 145s who had looked at her with suspicion and distrust before now greeted her as their liberator. Despite all her attempts to lock away her emotions –  becoming the best machine she could be to the point where she barely recognized what feelings and emotions felt like anymore – they were bursting out from her, threatening to overwhelm her.

 

Hera Agathon had clutched her arm, looking up at Sharon as her eyes pleaded for guidance and reassurance. The little girl invoked emotions that she had thought had been sealed forever. Her pleas had sent a spark of pain along her body, the mental agony overwhelming her physically. Sharon didn't understand how, when she'd spent so much time living with an overwhelming emptiness occupying the place where her heart had been. It was easier in this place to commit mental suicide, to leave the fictitious Sharon Valerii behind and simply become an Eight in a sea of Eights. There should have been nothing left of the person she knew was a lie, but the embers of the person she was had struggled against the icy cold veneer that had taken control of her.

 

Sharon had turned back around, refusing to let the child see her emotional collapse while Cavil spoke to Doral and Simon about the future of their people, oblivious to the girl who reached out to Sharon for hope. She quietly told herself that Sharon Valerii was dead, along with her imaginary family and her non-existent humanity that faded to black so long ago. It was a memory, like her days as a Colonial officer that ended the day Sharon shot Adama, to accept the horrifying realization that she was a machine who was too broken to realize that she was never really a human. Boomer, she thought. Just Boomer, not Sharon. I'm just a machine.

 

Looking at the table, her brown eyes met her reflection, her face looking severe from the tears that had refused to be quelled when she first handed Hera over. Strands of black hair had fallen down her face, with two soulless eyes staring at her with contempt. Like Cavil said:

 

“We’re machines, my dear. We have no souls.”

 

She was a misguided machine, wondering whether the choice to rip a child from her mother was worth the lives of millions of Cylons who would die without the secret flowing in her blood. Hera was the salvation of the Cylons. The same blood coursing through her that staved off the decimation that once threatened the life of Laura Roslin would keep the Ones, Fours and Fives alive for the remainder of history.

 

The 145s weren’t evil; they didn’t deserve to perish, not when the 268 rebels who were the backbone of the holocaust received amnesty and retroactively blamed the 145s for the downfall of humanity. “Boomer!” Hera screamed aloud, startling the Doral and Simon who were speaking next to her. A sigh escaped Sharon’s trembling lips as she pivoted back to face the little girl who looked up at her as her salvation. Genetically, she was Sharon’s child, but it was her twin who had conceived her. Her doppelganger who supplanted her on the ship, and taken away all the dreams she had once held when she thought she was human. She wished that she had Cavil’s resolve, to lock away all of the raging emotions.

 

Looking at Hera, Sharon tried to speak, but couldn't. She knew the price she paid for what she'd done, and she hated what she had become.

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